October 23rd will host the full moon this month and already I feel the pull of forces swaying my inner landscape. Perhaps hormonal, celestial, tidal, astrological, or plain and simple rationalization, justification or defending of my reactions and responses to people, places and things. In this very moment the emotional levy is cracked and leaking, I'm mourning not having things work out the way I want. This is no way to treat the moon, blaming her for my emotional state. With my back against the stone wall of the present moment, it's impossible to see it's effect, the totality of it's enormity - carved by an emotional ancestral couple of centuries. In the realm of infinite possibilities I could be yearning to recapture a part of my memory, my being I've never known in the past 37 years.
Dig my knuckles and wrists among the stems and leaves of invasive plants to clear the space for more greens to grow, for potatoes, yucca, and other roots vegetables. Awaken, ingest, harmonize and lay head down with ritual .....I yearn for what I don't know, for the parts of my legacy I'm unaware of, for the awareness, tenderness and love of gratitude. For connection, a feeling that needs no punctuation.